It started the other morning when my wife was doing her hair -- you know, washing, conditioning, brushing-out, blow-drying and styling, the kind of mundane maintenance women and myriad metrosexuals undertake and endure on a daily basis. Only this was no normal morning. No, on this day my wife was burned by the curling iron of inspiration and insurgence. On this morning my wife decided she was mad as hell and not going to take it any longer.

"Have I ever told you how much I hate doing my hair?" she began. And I nodded because she has told me as much on a fairly regular basis, pretty much every morning for the past umpteen years. "We should start a movement," she continued (and, again, I nodded, because I'm always up for starting a movement), "where instead of everyone doing their hair every morning, we all just shave our heads completely bald." You were forewarned, dear readers, a hair-raising experience.

Initially I laughed at my wife's suggestion -- laughed as I pictured a world of cue-balled Bruce Willis, Vin Diesel, Michael Jordan-ish carpet-less crowns. But the more I thought of a bald society, the more sense it made. Seriously, think about it.

According to a recent study, over the course of her lifetime, the average British woman squanders approximately $74,000 and two years of her life doing her hair, or getting her hair done. $74,000! And, more importantly, two years of life. Ladies, just think what you could do with an extra $74,000 (why, that's almost a tank of gas). Oh, and consider what you could be doing with those two extra years if not lathering your locks? Any idea how much more cash you could earn, adventures you could accrue, how much trouble you could get into and fun you could have? Any idea how much richer your life could be?

Further, from a social perspective, if everyone went bald, everyone would be living life on a more level playing field: no more people getting ahead, or falling behind, or being praised, or being mocked because of silly hair issues. No more bed head. Hat head. Humidity head. Wind head. No more bad hair days. No more premature graying. No more premature baldness. No more pathetic comb-overs for men.

Oh, and think about the sweet solidarity universal baldness would create for those people suffering through illnesses and harsh treatments that rob them of their hair. No longer would anyone lose their hair because they would have no hair to lose. Say goodbye to that sick stigma.

Finally, universal baldness would give us a whole new canvas upon which to create and capitalize. Surf on over to eBay and you'll find people all over are auctioning off body parts for advertising: from breasts and chests to bums, backs and (pregnant) bellies.

Ah, but what better canvas than a shorn skull, a bald bean? Even as I write, bald guys are asking for -- and apparently receiving -- $25,000 to have an advertiser's slogan or sales pitch etched upon their shiny heads.

Ad-business insiders have condemned the practice as being silly and perverse and exploitive. But, then, so is spending a king's ransom and a ton of time on our hair.

Andy Juniper can be visited at his Web site, www.strangledeggs.com, or contacted at ajuniper@strangledeggs.com.